Does the Ministry of Irony provide phone consultations?

At this moment, the Ministry conducts all of its counseling sessions in person. A paid line may be added in the near future, should a significant demand warrant it.

Will the Ministry help me to avoid Ironic consequences entirely?

There is no escaping the pull of Irony, though the Ministry can help you to choose the Ironic course along which you would prefer to be drawn.

Would everything I say in my session fall under a traditional counsellor/client confidentiality arrangement?

Everything that is disclosed within the counseling session is held within the strictest of confidence, even revelations of criminal acts or the intention to commit such acts. Should a client divulge an intention to commit a crime, the Ministry would refrain from alerting the police and would instead focus its energies on determining the Ironic outcomes resulting from the action, as the Ministry believes that the criminal justice system’s method of retribution is inferior to that of Irony’s. The integrity of this belief has been borne out by the events addressed on the News page of this site.

I am interested in becoming an Ironist myself. Are there any career opportunities at the Ministry?

There are no career opportunities at the Ministry of Irony at the present time, as each branch of the Ministry, of which this is the first, is a mere two-person operation, consisting of the branch’s Undersecretary of Irony and his Ironist-in-Training. When the Ironist-in-Training’s tutelage has been completed, he will become the Undersecretary of a new branch in another part of the country, at which point each Ironist will take on a new Ironist-in-Training, wherein we expect the hiring prospects to pick up, increasing doubly each time the process repeats itself.

Though career possibilities at the Ministry are limited, any parties still interested in a future in Irony can demonstrate an aptitude for the science by participating in the Ministry’s crowdsourcing project on the Submissions page. Participation in the project provides no guarantee of future employment or hiring preference, nor does it count towards the analytical and prognostic work required as part of the Ironist-in-Training’s tutelage.

If you did not see your question about the Ministry of Irony addressed on this page, please query the Ministry via the form below and your answer may eventually find its way onto this page.